Weirdo Refused Right To Marriage With Mainframe

Weirdo Refused Right To Marriage With Mainframe

Weirdo Refused Right To Marriage With Mainframe – image courtesy Isriya Paireepairit

Now I’m a nerd as much as the next person, but never have I wanted to get married to my PC!

36 year old Chris Sevier recently sued Apple for “getting him addicted to porn” (oh for fucks wanks sake).

As part of his lawsuit he claimed that Apple was making him a “silent poisoner” by not automatically blocking porn on his computer.

He’s obviously never heard of “self control”.

He claims that he innocently stumbled across porn when trying to type in the Facebook URL and ended up at Fuckbook. Weird thing is, on my keyboard, U & K are nowhere A & C – it’s pretty hard to mistype them.

After losing the case, he’s now decided to sue the American state of Utah because he’s not allowed to marry his computer.

I’m guessing that he’s confusing all the porn he’s downloaded with the device he’s done it on — it’s a thing called transference.

In order to justify why he should be allowed he states that gays and lesbians can get married, so why shouldn’t porn addicts be legally allowed to marry their laptops — I’d hate to see the result of their wedding night nuptials!!!

Having already once dropped a similar claim, he told a reporter at the Daily Herald “I became classically conditioned to prefer sex with an inanimate object as a result and now want to marry an inanimate object that is gender neutral.”

Good on him — if “hard drives” turn you on more than “floppy disks” and you can get your dick into the USB port, then go for it I say!

As for me, there’s a cute, sleek PVR Recorder in my living room that I’m pretty sure has been making eyes at me…

Weirdo Refused Right To Marriage With Mainframe
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Weirdo Refused Right To Marriage With Mainframe
A porn addicted man is suing Utah for the right to marry his PC after failing to sue Apple for making him addicted to porn!

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